My Attitude Needs Adjusting

It’s exciting and fascinating to read about all the Fab Female expoits we’ve been having this summer. Marianne’s month in Italy not being "the hot chick"... the Science Girl moving to Chicago and preparing to begin medical school. Sarah starting a new job, and getting set up with a nice guy! David heading to New Orleans on a mission trip with his youth group. Margy finishing up nursing school and flying back to Sacramento. CT gearing up for 2L in New York. It’s difficult to believe that summer is almost at its end. Look what we’ve experienced, and how we got there. It’s amazing. For me, it’s been a wild ride... from the FEMA level natural disaster of flooding here in the El Paso desert... to trying to implement the Summer Challenge, and completely losing track of my ‘progress.’
Then there’s the inner struggle. Compared to six months ago, my faith feels lackluster. The other day I watched the movie Saved and felt hostile towards the Christian church. Especially when it comes to my current lifestyle. Yesterday, I went to a Habitat for Humanity construction project and saw dozens of soldiers volunteering on their day off. It was part of this Army program called Better Opportunities for Single Soldiers. It’s purpose - to uplift, encourage, and keep single soldiers active in the community. Not a meat market type organization, but a good, healthy thing to be involved in. Funny, there’s nothing like that at my own church. I found myself envious of those men and women.
At times, I am made very aware of how different the Christian lifestyle is compared to the world’s. If I was the regular average American Jane, I’d not likely have to scrutinize everything about the opposite sex. What’s their religious background? Are they a virgin? Do they really have a personal relationship with Christ? Should I go on a date with a non-Christian? If so, what should my physical boundaries be? If I was a Jane, I’d be busting out my birth control or Plan-B and wouldn’t have to wonder what other people thought of the strange, 24 year old virgin. Chances are, I wouldn’t be one. Now, I’m not saying I want the life of an average Jane. I’m all for a wonderful man who loves Jesus and me, and I’d happily marry him and hang up my spurs of bachelorette-hood. The problem is, I don’t meet any. And it seems like none of you are meeting any either. Statistically, there are more Christian women who are involved in a church then our male counterparts. Trust me, I’m definitely noticing that fact. I’ve never dated a genuine, Christian guy. Most of the readers on this blog haven’t either. Doesn’t that say something?
So this, ladies, is my beef with God. It’s why my heart feels cold and what I cry about when I’m alone. I’m finding it’s tremendously hard to live out the lifestyle God calls us to when my church has as many twenty-something singles as I have fingers on one hand. I don’t understand. I like good, Christian guys. Really. But they don’t return the sentiment. Ever. Awhile back I was explaining how post-grad marriages are the norm at Grove City College to a couple after youth group. The husband asked me, "So what happened to you?" I didn’t have an answer.
In the past year or so we’ve had this blog, I’m almost positive that not ONE of us has been asked out on a real date by a Christian guy. Since last week, I’ve been asked out (again) by the gay coworker, a Jewish reporter at another station, and have this sort of flirtation with another guy who, while has conservative views, doesn’t have a foundation of a relationship with God. What scares me, is that these guys are starting to look okay. (Except for the gay guy) I am very attracted to Bachelor #3 and find him strangely appealing. Why is God tossing me so many freaking red herrings. Deep down, I know that can’t consider any of these prospects seriously... but I want to. Now, the question is... how to handle it all. Live like a nun for life? Whatever I do, I believe that my own relationship with God will be damaged. If I ended up getting married to an unbeliever, that’s bad. But being single and distanced from God.. Also bad.