Out Of Left Field...
So I'd been hanging out with a new coworker along with the others lately. I very much assumed he was gay, so we just joked around and he openly makes sexual innuendo about all the women... but that's what gay guys do, right? And call you sweetheart, dress well, and like to decorate. On second glance, he seems more straight on some occasions.
Early this morning while at work (we're talking 1:30 in the morning) he called my extension and sounded a bit tipsy. The first thing I heard was "China Doll!" Tip off, right? He kept on asking me if there are "other guys in the picture" and why I wasn't dating him. All I could say was "uhh..." For most of the conversation I thought he was just messing with me, like all my gay friends do. But then he seemed almost hurt. I asked him why he was saying all that, because it was downright bizarre. The guy said, "WHY DO YOU THINK?" Am I really dense and he was drunkenly telling me he likes me, or is he just strange? I lamely said I liked being friends, but don't really date much, especially not people I work with. Still, I don't know if it was an elaborate gag or if maybe I had him pegged wrong. I have no idea. He's always hanging around the women in the newsroom and doesn't seem to be flirting with any of us.
I will say that we did lunch last week, and he didn't seem as gay as usual. Heck, I really don't know! If he's not gay, likes me, and feels rejected... I will feel terrible. If the guy IS straight though, it's very difficult to tell. He brings sandwiches and yogurt for lunch, doesn't eat fast food or watch sports, and is really a pretty boy. I've never had a gay guy tell me he likes me. Either that, or it was some sort of Punk'd situaton and a bunch of people I know were listening on speakerphone. Another possibility is that he plays for both teams, or that he just doesn't know he's gay yet. Any thoughts on this? I don't know what to do! I was hoping this guy and I could be buddies. I'm still not sure whether to speculate on his sexuality.
Early this morning while at work (we're talking 1:30 in the morning) he called my extension and sounded a bit tipsy. The first thing I heard was "China Doll!" Tip off, right? He kept on asking me if there are "other guys in the picture" and why I wasn't dating him. All I could say was "uhh..." For most of the conversation I thought he was just messing with me, like all my gay friends do. But then he seemed almost hurt. I asked him why he was saying all that, because it was downright bizarre. The guy said, "WHY DO YOU THINK?" Am I really dense and he was drunkenly telling me he likes me, or is he just strange? I lamely said I liked being friends, but don't really date much, especially not people I work with. Still, I don't know if it was an elaborate gag or if maybe I had him pegged wrong. I have no idea. He's always hanging around the women in the newsroom and doesn't seem to be flirting with any of us.
I will say that we did lunch last week, and he didn't seem as gay as usual. Heck, I really don't know! If he's not gay, likes me, and feels rejected... I will feel terrible. If the guy IS straight though, it's very difficult to tell. He brings sandwiches and yogurt for lunch, doesn't eat fast food or watch sports, and is really a pretty boy. I've never had a gay guy tell me he likes me. Either that, or it was some sort of Punk'd situaton and a bunch of people I know were listening on speakerphone. Another possibility is that he plays for both teams, or that he just doesn't know he's gay yet. Any thoughts on this? I don't know what to do! I was hoping this guy and I could be buddies. I'm still not sure whether to speculate on his sexuality.
posted by Jennifer @ 10:42 PM
4 Comments:
At 11:28 AM, August 07, 2006,
Anonymous said…
Maybe he's gay and he just doesn't know it yet? Are you kidding me? I'm sorry, I'm not even going to touch that one, because I hate that guys with atypical interests get stereotyped into homosexuality.
It would appear that this guy is not, in fact, gay, and does, in fact, like you. I would tread carefully from now on.
My friend Brian has excellent fashion sense, doesn't follow sports, and likes his hands to be soft (to the point of using Bath and Body Works). He is also incredibly vain and likes to wear pants from the 1970s, yet somehow always looks fantastic. And he just married my friend Alicia a month ago - and I have never even questioned his heterosexuality, really, despite the list above. Oh yes, and he has plenty of female friends.
I don't want this to come off as... snarky or rude, because this blog was created as a safe environment. It's jsut that I know a lot of atypical guys and I hate when they get pidgeon-holed, esp. when all those voices over the years telling them they're gay or assuming they are make them think, "well, I must be gay, because I don't like football."
I watched it happen to a good friend of mine, and it makes me sad every time I think of it.
At 6:43 PM, August 07, 2006,
Jennifer said…
Believe me, I'm trying to be anything but rude. However, most of the vibes he gives off are definitely flipping off my gay-dar. For me personally, his revelation was a bit shocking. He's a very nice guy, but in my experience with gay men.. he definitely seems to be one of them.
At 7:32 PM, August 07, 2006,
David said…
I know this one guy who has excellent fashion sense, does follow sports, and likes his hands soft (to the point of using Neutrogena's Norwegian Formula, which is much better than anything from B&BW...I mean, or so he says). He wears handmade suits and thin ties and sometimes lavendar and always manages to look fantastic. He is not married and I have never questioned his heterosexuality, and he has female friends too. Although he'd always welcome more. At any time.
And he's even eaten sandwiches, and...yes, even yogurt (!) for lunch.
Anyway I'd say the being buddies thing is pretty much out the window for right now, at least until the situation changes.
And don't get worked up if he's bummed you rejected him. Any straight guy should be glad to have gotten the truth out of you and not gotten the run around. Any gay guy shouldn't be upset anyway because...hello...he's gay.
At 6:24 PM, August 09, 2006,
Jennifer said…
Well, I had decided to take the approach of acting like nothing happened. The first time I ran into him since the phone conversation was last night at work. (Although he called and left a message earlier for me asking if I was going to a birthday party). So I thought, maybe he won't remember? Not so much... He called me over and asked if he'd put me in an awkward position. Of course it's awkward, but I told him everything was cool. He's a very nice guy but 1) I work with him, 2) I'm still positive he's gay and 3) uhh, actually there is no number three. The first two reasons are reason enough. So apparently he wasn't trashed out of his mind when he made that infamous phone call... I'm still confused. Everyone who knows this guy is so sure he's gay, if I were to tell them what happened (Which I won't), NO ONE would believe me.
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