Fabulous Females

That's what this site is for: a place to gather all of the ideas and observations of real women living out the drama of single life in a world of "hooking up" and "putting out." If you'd like to become a poster, just give us your email address in a comment so we can invite you in! This is a non-discriminatory place to air out your feelings, so please be constructive! We also welcome men to post insight, comments, and advice on today's culture between males and females.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Horrible as it is...

Just thought I'd hop on and point out this comment, from a post about being the 3rd wheel on a community blog that I read regularly (its actually a great, useful site, if you're at all interested).

Anyway, it made me think of our little site. I've been that odd-one-out and still am from time to time. Stayed in tonight for a number of reasons but one of them was not being the 3rd wheel with my best bud and his GF. "We can lessen the pain, but the pain is still there."

Just wanted to encourage all of you peeps to not forget who you are now, when you are that future person who is (hopefully) coupled up.

posted by David @ 7:57 PM  

7 Comments:

  • At 8:38 AM, July 14, 2007, Blogger Marianne said…

    I am frequently a third wheel. it's a particular curse of mine because I'm "the fun friend" and "the friend who won't try to steal your boyfriend." Couples that are tired of each other use me as a buffer. Couples that are just starting out use me to inspire conversation. I always wonder why my meal and movie ticket aren't paid for...

     

  • At 5:36 PM, July 14, 2007, Blogger The Prufroquette said…

    Hahaha, I'm the friend whom both parties like, when each party hates the other party's friends. ;)

    My suggestion? Become the second spouse in an odd group marriage situation. It's much more comfortable!

     

  • At 9:46 AM, July 15, 2007, Blogger The Prufroquette said…

    Having gone through that post, I thought I'd expound a little more.

    I hate being the third wheel, generally. It's often excrutiatingly painful, especially when there's a lot of PDA and whispering sweet nothings in ears involved, and I'm left toying with the food on my plate and trying on different smiles (forbearing, amused, indifferent, thinly-veiled-exasperated, look-how-much-fun-I'm-having-being-left-out-of-your-coupledom).
    It's even worse in the car when they're in the front seat and I'm in the back and can't even hear what they're talking about; I've learned to be grateful for my ability to stare out the window and retreat to my own dreamworld.

    Fortunately most of my close friends are single; but it's made me worry, a little bit, about when they aren't, and it's made me worry about me when I'm not, and how I'll treat my friends who still are (of course, cynically, that thought is usually the last to cross my mind, as I generally assume I'll be the single one).

    But it has made me grateful for my married couple friends, Meg and Phillip, who have made me like family. I never feel left out when I'm with them; I feel like one of them. Three's never a crowd with us. I don't know how or why, but it works beautifully, and there's no third-wheeling there.

    So it's possible for it to work. And they do show each other lovely demonstrations of affection, but I never feel left out; I rather rejoice in their closeness, and feel somehow included and comfortable. I'm extremely grateful for it, especially because it's so rare. I also hope to learn from their example.

     

  • At 12:58 PM, July 16, 2007, Blogger none said…

    I experience this all the time. The best is when I'm the 9th wheel... when it's the holidays, and it's my parents and each of my 3 sisters with a guy. And me. It only bothers me when they send me to the kiddie table. :)

    But seriously, I often find myself the 3rd wheel with friends. It doesn't usually bother me, especially if my friends aren't super lovey-dovey (they generally aren't). I've been to baseball games, dinner, over to watch movies, etc. with a friend and their boyfriend or girlfriend, and it's normally not too awkward. My best friend even "shared" her boyfriend with me at a recent wedding when I didn't have a date. I don't really have friends who are super into PDA, so that helps.

    I did find myself in an awkward situation recently. I was at an outdoor film, and there were 2 couples, who separated themselves and cuddled, and then my female friend and I were stuck on a picnic blanket with a guy who scooted as far away from us as possible as though we were going to duke it out over him. lol. I hate when couples retreat into their own worlds when they're out in a group. If you want to be alone, then be alone, but don't go to a group outing and isolate yourself. I hope I remember that if I'm ever paired up.

     

  • At 10:11 PM, July 16, 2007, Blogger Jennifer said…

    I find it's different and varies with the company you're with. Some couples are a blast to hang out with. Even if they've got their arms around each other, it doesn't feel weird or awkward with me. But others... it's excruciatingly painful. Not exactly sure why.
    Another thing I've noticed is this... Many times when I've gone out with a friend and her boyfriend/fiance/husband - the guy ends up paying for me, too. This small gesture means a lot to me, and should mean a lot to my friends. The way I take it, is they care enough about her to care about her friends. (It also makes the single friend more comfortable because you don't have to do the whole separate checks... with the "We're together" comment) A decent way to gauge what kind of man he is. And it's like a fun date... with TWO people instead of one.
    For some reason, I find myself drawn to hanging out with couples. Whenever I'm meeting a new, large group of people I always end up deep in conversation with a couple who seems to find me delightful and hopefully charming. Couples seem to like me because I'm non-threatening. No woman could even imagine me trying to steal their honey. (And I wouldn't) Guys like me because I don't go to the bathroom with their girl and talk about hair, or whisk her away to the mall for lattes and shopping.

     

  • At 8:42 AM, July 17, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I know what this is like! I hate being the 3rd wheel with my buddy and his wife!

    Check out my website for more posts on living missionally in Orange County, CA:

    http://www.missionaryroad.com

    Ken

     

  • At 8:00 AM, September 05, 2007, Blogger HK33 said…

    I find that I am now always the 3rd wheel. I used to always be the one in a relationship bringing along her single friend, but now the shoe is on the other foot. Not a fun place to be.

     

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