Have I Been Drinking The Kool-Aid?
Last night when I arrived home from work, I had lofty hope that perhaps there are good men that exist. Ones that you can trust and truly care about you as a person. As of this morning, I am convinced this is not the case.
For the last few months I’d been ‘seeing’ this guy. Professionally, we’re actually competitors and met at a coworker’s birthday party at a bar over the summer. Upon meeting him, I immediately sensed an attraction on his part. Nicely, I obliged in conversation, but was actually interested in someone else at this bash. On another note, I was really not attracted to him at all. We’ll call this guy ‘John’ since I’m nice enough not to expose his real name here. During the conversation I ducked out and went to the ladies’ room. When I came back, he honed in on me again and asked me if I had a boyfriend. John also offered to come over to my house and bring the movie ‘Snatch,’ invited me to a group lunch the next day, and asked for my phone number. I told him that the last time I gave my phone number out, the guy never called. He said he’d ‘fix’ that.
I remember thinking that John seemed quite desperate and I had no interest in him at the time. He was nice, and I’m always looking to make new friends so I figured that would be alright. The next day he both text messaged me and called to let me know where they were meeting up. Thinking it would be fun to hang out with new people. When I arrived at the restaurant a bit later than everyone else, the only seat left was next to John. After that, they roped me into playing frisbee with them. Since John had not driven, he asked if he could ride with me. It was rather awkward, and on the drive over he told me he wanted to take me out to dinner. Numbly, I said yes, mostly because I’m so non-confrontational and have a difficult time saying ‘no’ to anyone, even the Kirby Vacuum cleaner guy. This ended up being made even more uncomfortable for me, because we were the only ones at the park for about 15 minutes. It was like a date had been sprung on me as a surprise.
Fast forward to work on Monday. My coworkers made fun of me for quite awhile after seeing him chatting me up. It was one of the most embarrassing days I’ve ever had, having to endure the torture and comments about John asking me out.
When I came home, I noticed that John found me on MySpace... He sent me this message with the subject "Hey Hun." Keep in mind that ‘hun’ is my least favorite cutesy nickname ever. I absolutely loathe when someone refers to me as ‘hun.’
What's up? I hope you don't feel stalked. I just spend way too much time on this thing and thought I'd try my hand at finding people I met this weekend. I'm glad you were one of them. I'm holding you to a dinner at the Crossing... and look into Snatch; tell me if it's up your alley. It's one of my all-time favorite movies. Catch you later, John
When I checked out John’s profile, I noticed this: ‘Who I’d Like To Meet’: My Wife. Making some general observations from his blog entries, he was somewhat desperate for a date, was voted Class Flirt in high school, and liked hundreds of girls. Very impressive. I made a mental note that going to dinner with this person was not high on my priority list.
Sometime later, I was discussing this with a friend of mine. He urged me to go out with him at least once. That me turning him down was very rude, and I at least should give myself a chance to get to know John. So bravely, even though I was majorly skeeved out by the MySpace stuff, when he called to ask me out (on his way home from the airport, nonetheless) I agreed to meet him. My intention was definitely friendship, and that was it. It was a somewhat uncomfortable meal, especially since my last real date was.... well, I can’t remember. I figured this was a one time deal, and that I might run into him at some party down the road and say hello. I also made sure to pay for myself, to signify that it was not an actual date.
For about a month, I had no face to face contact with John. However, we started talking on Instant Messenger (I swear, AIM is evil) somewhat regularly. John and I discussed religion, dating, politics, high school and college, etc... I’m not exactly sure what the heck happened, but I looked forward to talking to him, and even began to think about seeing him again.
It’s now a few weeks before Halloween, and John invited me to a party. Honestly, I’ll admit, I went there to see him. But I really didn’t think much was happening, since we’d only hung out a handful of times and an entire month had passed in between. My roommate was gracious and accompanied me to the house party. When I saw the host, she immediately asked me if I wanted to find John and led us to his current location. John seemed pretty happy to see me, and spent most of the night with his arm tightly around me. While watching a pool game out in the garage, he asked me if he could have a word with me outside. Grasping both of my hands while dressed as a beer bottle, John told me he really enjoyed our friendship, was very physically attracted to me, and asked me if I would ‘go out’ with him... as in be his girlfriend. This caught me off guard since it seemed somewhat sudden to be doing this. Nervously, I laughed and said I liked hanging out. At this moment, I wondered if John really ‘got’ women. He obviously was very off timing wise with this girlfriend proposition, and didn’t seem to sense that I was fairly uncomfortable. Especially since he kissed me. One thing about me, is that I have relatively low will power. It had been quite awhile since I’d kissed anyone, and I’ll admit, it was nice to be doing that once again. He and I made plans to see each other the following week, which involved him driving an hour to El Paso in order to take me out. Oh, what a strange night.
A few days before this get together was scheduled to happen, I realized that dating someone probably wouldn’t be a very good idea since I’m trying to work out a different deal career-wise and didn’t want to be distracted. While talking online, I informed John that I wanted to be friends, but that was all I could offer. He seemed okay with that, and asked me if we were ‘still on for Friday.’ I agreed. We did hang out, and I then realized how much I enjoyed conversations with John. He loves his family, treated me with respect and chivalry, is intelligent and very funny, is a generally nice guy, and seemed to have a pretty big thing... for me. Somewhere in the mix, I developed real feelings for a guy I hadn’t expected to. When I spoke to him on the phone about hanging out again, I managed to tell him that I did want the next outing to be a date.
The last two times I saw John, were undoubtably in the romantic category. Dinner, conversation, both of us even referred to them as dates. Not to mention the fact that on both occasion, there was some PG-13 rated making out (very much initiated by John). He told me several times in online conversations of how he wanted me to trust him, and how he and I ‘work.’ When people would ask, I would tell them we were sort-of-seeing-each-other, since I did not know the exact status. The only thing weird I noticed, was that when I left his house on our last time together he didn’t make immediate future plans. You know like, "We should do this on Friday" or something along those lines. But hey, I figured... he asked me to be his girlfriend. He must like me a lot, right?
After work last night, I decided I needed to let him know that I did, indeed want to be officially dating. I had no reason to think otherwise. Boy, was I wrong. This was the AIM conversation that went down in flames...
FifthTigerofAsia you know...
FifthTigerofAsia I wouldn't mind being your girlfriend
John:: i don't think that'd work right now
John:: i'm sorry... i know i thought of it first.
John: but with timing being what it is and us being two similar but too different people... i guess i feel more comfortable as friends
FifthTigerofAsia : friends?
John:: yeah
FifthTigerofAsia: so uh.. when were you going to tell me this?
John:: i didn't think i had to. i thought when you said we should be friends, i accepted that and since then i've felt it's the best thing. i didn't know we were moving towards anything
John:: i never meant to pull you offsides. and if i thought i was i would have definitely said something
FifthTigerofAsia: I feel incredibly weird right now
John: honestly me too a bit
FifthTigerofAsia: do you hook up with all your friends?
John: no
FifthTigerofAsia: neither do I
John:: do you hook up with friends?
FifthTigerofAsia: never
FifthTigerofAsia : With pretty good reasons, I thought we were seeing each other
John:: i got a different message when you said we were going to be friends and then 2 seconds later we went back to making out
FifthTigerofAsia: I did say it would be okay for it to be a date
FifthTigerofAsia: I realized the reasons I wanted to be friends were pretty stupid
FifthTigerofAsia: and that you're a great guy
John:: the reasons you wanted to be friends were stupid?
John:: what were they?
FifthTigerofAsi: the timing issue
FifthTigerofAsia: but I figured, I have no immediate plans of leaving so why not?
John:: that's fair
FifthTigerofAsia: so you thought I wanted a friend with benefits???
FifthTigerofAsia: oh... my god
John:: in short, yeah i guess
John:: a misread on my part apparently.
FifthTigerofAsia: definitely
John: i'm sorry
John: truly
FifthTigerofAsia: do you realize that both times we hooked up
FifthTigerofAsia: you definitely made the first moves
John:: yeah
FifthTigerofAsia : why?
John: because i wanted to
John:: and i figured if you didn't want me to... you'd say no and i'd apologize and we'd move on
FifthTigerofAsia: and you'd do that to someone who's just a friend?
John:: i have (Jen’s note: EWWWW)
FifthTigerofAsia: this is still very strange
John:: well this is just a fundamental difference i guess
FifthTigerofAsia: I shouldn't have told you I wanted to be friends
John:: maybe i shouldn't asked you out too soon
FifthTigerofAsia: it just seems like somwhere along the line... there was a flip flop
John:: i guess paths just got mixed up
John:: yeah
FifthTigerofAsia: so why did you ask me out?
John:: i wanted to
John:: i wanted to try it (Jen’s note: give me a TRIAL RUN as a girlfriend?)
FifthTigerofAsia: and now?
John:: and now i'm content with the relationship we've had since that night... but it sounds like we need to be more platonic
FifthTigerofAsia: but you like me?
FifthTigerofAsia: that's not platonic
John:: i think it's best just to keep things simle
John: simple
FifthTigerofAsia: well, I'm definitely not looking for a friend to make out with
John:: that's fair
John:: i respect that
FifthTigerofAsia: and what we do together... it's definitely not just a friends thing
FifthTigerofAsia: I'm not down with that arrangement
FifthTigerofAsia: so I'm going to have to pass
John:: and be friends
FifthTigerofAsia: this is too weird for me
FifthTigerofAsia: sorry
John:: you don't have to apologize
FifthTigerofAsia: look
FifthTigerofAsia: I really put myself out there... for you
FifthTigerofAsia: because I genuinely like you
FifthTigerofAsia: and now I feel like a complete moron
FifthTigerofAsia: and you told me you liked me too
FifthTigerofAsia : obviously not that much
FifthTigerofAsia : so this will be our last interaction
John:: i just thought we had a different arrangment and i was comfortable with it
John:: and i never ever wanted to pull you offsides like i have
John:: and i'm sorry for doing that. it's never my intention. i just like everyone happy and having fun
FifthTigerofAsia: so do I
FifthTigerofAsia: do you realize you did though?
John:: i do now
FifthTigerofAsia: yes
FifthTigerofAsia: but knowing what I do now, this is definitely a good bye
John:: if you wish. i'm sorry it comes to that. but it's certainly your choice
FifthTigerofAsia: well, you had choices too
John:: yeah
John:: i need to get to bed
John: up in 7 hours
John: good night
If you’re asking right now, whether I’m confused... that would be an understatement. Shocked? That’s a yes, too. Apparently this is what I get for giving a guy like John a chance. As I sit here at 7:51 a.m. after receiving about two hours of sleep, I wonder why my love life is like a derailed train that just exploded.
It's ironic that someone you think you know turns out to be a complete stranger in the time span of five minutes. It hurts that bizarre incidents like this one with John are actually common for my track record. Most of all, I can't help but wonder what the heck is the cause behind it all.
For the last few months I’d been ‘seeing’ this guy. Professionally, we’re actually competitors and met at a coworker’s birthday party at a bar over the summer. Upon meeting him, I immediately sensed an attraction on his part. Nicely, I obliged in conversation, but was actually interested in someone else at this bash. On another note, I was really not attracted to him at all. We’ll call this guy ‘John’ since I’m nice enough not to expose his real name here. During the conversation I ducked out and went to the ladies’ room. When I came back, he honed in on me again and asked me if I had a boyfriend. John also offered to come over to my house and bring the movie ‘Snatch,’ invited me to a group lunch the next day, and asked for my phone number. I told him that the last time I gave my phone number out, the guy never called. He said he’d ‘fix’ that.
I remember thinking that John seemed quite desperate and I had no interest in him at the time. He was nice, and I’m always looking to make new friends so I figured that would be alright. The next day he both text messaged me and called to let me know where they were meeting up. Thinking it would be fun to hang out with new people. When I arrived at the restaurant a bit later than everyone else, the only seat left was next to John. After that, they roped me into playing frisbee with them. Since John had not driven, he asked if he could ride with me. It was rather awkward, and on the drive over he told me he wanted to take me out to dinner. Numbly, I said yes, mostly because I’m so non-confrontational and have a difficult time saying ‘no’ to anyone, even the Kirby Vacuum cleaner guy. This ended up being made even more uncomfortable for me, because we were the only ones at the park for about 15 minutes. It was like a date had been sprung on me as a surprise.
Fast forward to work on Monday. My coworkers made fun of me for quite awhile after seeing him chatting me up. It was one of the most embarrassing days I’ve ever had, having to endure the torture and comments about John asking me out.
When I came home, I noticed that John found me on MySpace... He sent me this message with the subject "Hey Hun." Keep in mind that ‘hun’ is my least favorite cutesy nickname ever. I absolutely loathe when someone refers to me as ‘hun.’
What's up? I hope you don't feel stalked. I just spend way too much time on this thing and thought I'd try my hand at finding people I met this weekend. I'm glad you were one of them. I'm holding you to a dinner at the Crossing... and look into Snatch; tell me if it's up your alley. It's one of my all-time favorite movies. Catch you later, John
When I checked out John’s profile, I noticed this: ‘Who I’d Like To Meet’: My Wife. Making some general observations from his blog entries, he was somewhat desperate for a date, was voted Class Flirt in high school, and liked hundreds of girls. Very impressive. I made a mental note that going to dinner with this person was not high on my priority list.
Sometime later, I was discussing this with a friend of mine. He urged me to go out with him at least once. That me turning him down was very rude, and I at least should give myself a chance to get to know John. So bravely, even though I was majorly skeeved out by the MySpace stuff, when he called to ask me out (on his way home from the airport, nonetheless) I agreed to meet him. My intention was definitely friendship, and that was it. It was a somewhat uncomfortable meal, especially since my last real date was.... well, I can’t remember. I figured this was a one time deal, and that I might run into him at some party down the road and say hello. I also made sure to pay for myself, to signify that it was not an actual date.
For about a month, I had no face to face contact with John. However, we started talking on Instant Messenger (I swear, AIM is evil) somewhat regularly. John and I discussed religion, dating, politics, high school and college, etc... I’m not exactly sure what the heck happened, but I looked forward to talking to him, and even began to think about seeing him again.
It’s now a few weeks before Halloween, and John invited me to a party. Honestly, I’ll admit, I went there to see him. But I really didn’t think much was happening, since we’d only hung out a handful of times and an entire month had passed in between. My roommate was gracious and accompanied me to the house party. When I saw the host, she immediately asked me if I wanted to find John and led us to his current location. John seemed pretty happy to see me, and spent most of the night with his arm tightly around me. While watching a pool game out in the garage, he asked me if he could have a word with me outside. Grasping both of my hands while dressed as a beer bottle, John told me he really enjoyed our friendship, was very physically attracted to me, and asked me if I would ‘go out’ with him... as in be his girlfriend. This caught me off guard since it seemed somewhat sudden to be doing this. Nervously, I laughed and said I liked hanging out. At this moment, I wondered if John really ‘got’ women. He obviously was very off timing wise with this girlfriend proposition, and didn’t seem to sense that I was fairly uncomfortable. Especially since he kissed me. One thing about me, is that I have relatively low will power. It had been quite awhile since I’d kissed anyone, and I’ll admit, it was nice to be doing that once again. He and I made plans to see each other the following week, which involved him driving an hour to El Paso in order to take me out. Oh, what a strange night.
A few days before this get together was scheduled to happen, I realized that dating someone probably wouldn’t be a very good idea since I’m trying to work out a different deal career-wise and didn’t want to be distracted. While talking online, I informed John that I wanted to be friends, but that was all I could offer. He seemed okay with that, and asked me if we were ‘still on for Friday.’ I agreed. We did hang out, and I then realized how much I enjoyed conversations with John. He loves his family, treated me with respect and chivalry, is intelligent and very funny, is a generally nice guy, and seemed to have a pretty big thing... for me. Somewhere in the mix, I developed real feelings for a guy I hadn’t expected to. When I spoke to him on the phone about hanging out again, I managed to tell him that I did want the next outing to be a date.
The last two times I saw John, were undoubtably in the romantic category. Dinner, conversation, both of us even referred to them as dates. Not to mention the fact that on both occasion, there was some PG-13 rated making out (very much initiated by John). He told me several times in online conversations of how he wanted me to trust him, and how he and I ‘work.’ When people would ask, I would tell them we were sort-of-seeing-each-other, since I did not know the exact status. The only thing weird I noticed, was that when I left his house on our last time together he didn’t make immediate future plans. You know like, "We should do this on Friday" or something along those lines. But hey, I figured... he asked me to be his girlfriend. He must like me a lot, right?
After work last night, I decided I needed to let him know that I did, indeed want to be officially dating. I had no reason to think otherwise. Boy, was I wrong. This was the AIM conversation that went down in flames...
FifthTigerofAsia you know...
FifthTigerofAsia I wouldn't mind being your girlfriend
John:: i don't think that'd work right now
John:: i'm sorry... i know i thought of it first.
John: but with timing being what it is and us being two similar but too different people... i guess i feel more comfortable as friends
FifthTigerofAsia : friends?
John:: yeah
FifthTigerofAsia: so uh.. when were you going to tell me this?
John:: i didn't think i had to. i thought when you said we should be friends, i accepted that and since then i've felt it's the best thing. i didn't know we were moving towards anything
John:: i never meant to pull you offsides. and if i thought i was i would have definitely said something
FifthTigerofAsia: I feel incredibly weird right now
John: honestly me too a bit
FifthTigerofAsia: do you hook up with all your friends?
John: no
FifthTigerofAsia: neither do I
John:: do you hook up with friends?
FifthTigerofAsia: never
FifthTigerofAsia : With pretty good reasons, I thought we were seeing each other
John:: i got a different message when you said we were going to be friends and then 2 seconds later we went back to making out
FifthTigerofAsia: I did say it would be okay for it to be a date
FifthTigerofAsia: I realized the reasons I wanted to be friends were pretty stupid
FifthTigerofAsia: and that you're a great guy
John:: the reasons you wanted to be friends were stupid?
John:: what were they?
FifthTigerofAsi: the timing issue
FifthTigerofAsia: but I figured, I have no immediate plans of leaving so why not?
John:: that's fair
FifthTigerofAsia: so you thought I wanted a friend with benefits???
FifthTigerofAsia: oh... my god
John:: in short, yeah i guess
John:: a misread on my part apparently.
FifthTigerofAsia: definitely
John: i'm sorry
John: truly
FifthTigerofAsia: do you realize that both times we hooked up
FifthTigerofAsia: you definitely made the first moves
John:: yeah
FifthTigerofAsia : why?
John: because i wanted to
John:: and i figured if you didn't want me to... you'd say no and i'd apologize and we'd move on
FifthTigerofAsia: and you'd do that to someone who's just a friend?
John:: i have (Jen’s note: EWWWW)
FifthTigerofAsia: this is still very strange
John:: well this is just a fundamental difference i guess
FifthTigerofAsia: I shouldn't have told you I wanted to be friends
John:: maybe i shouldn't asked you out too soon
FifthTigerofAsia: it just seems like somwhere along the line... there was a flip flop
John:: i guess paths just got mixed up
John:: yeah
FifthTigerofAsia: so why did you ask me out?
John:: i wanted to
John:: i wanted to try it (Jen’s note: give me a TRIAL RUN as a girlfriend?)
FifthTigerofAsia: and now?
John:: and now i'm content with the relationship we've had since that night... but it sounds like we need to be more platonic
FifthTigerofAsia: but you like me?
FifthTigerofAsia: that's not platonic
John:: i think it's best just to keep things simle
John: simple
FifthTigerofAsia: well, I'm definitely not looking for a friend to make out with
John:: that's fair
John:: i respect that
FifthTigerofAsia: and what we do together... it's definitely not just a friends thing
FifthTigerofAsia: I'm not down with that arrangement
FifthTigerofAsia: so I'm going to have to pass
John:: and be friends
FifthTigerofAsia: this is too weird for me
FifthTigerofAsia: sorry
John:: you don't have to apologize
FifthTigerofAsia: look
FifthTigerofAsia: I really put myself out there... for you
FifthTigerofAsia: because I genuinely like you
FifthTigerofAsia: and now I feel like a complete moron
FifthTigerofAsia: and you told me you liked me too
FifthTigerofAsia : obviously not that much
FifthTigerofAsia : so this will be our last interaction
John:: i just thought we had a different arrangment and i was comfortable with it
John:: and i never ever wanted to pull you offsides like i have
John:: and i'm sorry for doing that. it's never my intention. i just like everyone happy and having fun
FifthTigerofAsia: so do I
FifthTigerofAsia: do you realize you did though?
John:: i do now
FifthTigerofAsia: yes
FifthTigerofAsia: but knowing what I do now, this is definitely a good bye
John:: if you wish. i'm sorry it comes to that. but it's certainly your choice
FifthTigerofAsia: well, you had choices too
John:: yeah
John:: i need to get to bed
John: up in 7 hours
John: good night
If you’re asking right now, whether I’m confused... that would be an understatement. Shocked? That’s a yes, too. Apparently this is what I get for giving a guy like John a chance. As I sit here at 7:51 a.m. after receiving about two hours of sleep, I wonder why my love life is like a derailed train that just exploded.
It's ironic that someone you think you know turns out to be a complete stranger in the time span of five minutes. It hurts that bizarre incidents like this one with John are actually common for my track record. Most of all, I can't help but wonder what the heck is the cause behind it all.
posted by Jennifer @ 6:57 AM
13 Comments:
At 7:21 AM, November 13, 2006,
Jennifer said…
On another note, thinking about what could have happened... had I taken him up on his initial girlfriend offer... is terrifying. It may actually give me nightmares.
And by the way.... I've got plenty of guys as friends. We don't customarily go on dates, they don't get all touchy-feely, they don't kiss me on the cheek when I leave, and they don't tell me that they like me.
At 9:59 AM, November 13, 2006,
none said…
Wow, Jennifer... I was feeling bitter toward men this weekend, but your story takes the cake. He really thought you were friends with benefits?! ick! I would've felt so silly and misled if that happened to me.... but I'm glad you told him how wrong he was and that you won't see him anymore.
I take it he wasn't a Christian?
At 10:04 AM, November 13, 2006,
Jennifer said…
In general, I feel idiotic and stupid. On the other hand, ANY woman in my position would also think it was dating. He is not a Christian, and I guess I had that coming... although as expressed in other posts... Christian men don't have anything going for them these days either. I do not plan on ever seeing John again though, and that's probably a good thing.
At 10:21 AM, November 13, 2006,
none said…
I would have interpreted it as dating too Jen... and you're right... Christian men are generally no better. There's one Christian guy in particular who I just want to smack upside the head.... the only problem being that I want to kiss him even more than I want to hit him. :/
At 10:47 AM, November 13, 2006,
Jennifer said…
Today is going to be rough to get through, but I know I can do it! Part of me wonders what made John change his mind about me, but that's not important. The funny thing is that superficially I didn't like him, but when I got to know him (or thought I did) I liked him for who he was. He apparently did the opposite. Liked me superficially, but not for who I am. That's something I dislike. All I want is for someone to genuinely know and care about me.
I love how when you tell a guy that you haven't had the best of luck with relationships, you've been heartbroken several times, and have a difficult time trusting men.... they act like they'll never do somethiing to violate you. Then they leave you hanging out to dry. Love sucks.
At 7:01 PM, November 14, 2006,
The Prufroquette said…
Women tend to have much more invested in these things than men. And men seem to LOVE telling you they'll never hurt you, because they appear to figure you'll trust THEM, and give them what they want.
What total bullshit. What a SKEEZEBALL.
Aw, Jen, my stomach hurts on your behalf.
I'll call you this week. Hang in there, dahlin.
At 2:01 PM, November 16, 2006,
The Prufroquette said…
And just in case you need a reminder:
That certain writing we were discussing was an unintelligent and unclassy attempt to make a certain John look better and more easygoing and more mature than you. It failed.
Because, if a certain John knew you at all, and knew about your track record, which, like all of our track records, includes a 100% failure rate for relationships, he would realize that generalizations are rather appropriate.
At 5:59 PM, November 16, 2006,
Jennifer said…
Thanks Sarah! It's not that I even hate/dislike John. (Although I have to admit he's probably not my favorite person right now) It's that the super-bizarre always seems to land in my court. I don't know why, but I'd sure as heck like to know why I'm always dealt the weirdo cards. It's a baffling mystery.
At 9:37 AM, November 17, 2006,
The Prufroquette said…
I'm going to stick my toes on a limb and say that perhaps you have a problem with freaks the way I have a problem with losers.
As my boss said, due to tendencies in myself, and in my upbringing, I am most naturally and instantly drawn to men who will use me for emotional support. These men tend to be needy, selfish, whiny, put-upon, and far more concerned with what I can give them than what they can give me. They drain me. They're not really men (if we're defining "man" as a male adult who values his own strength and independence). And I just love them.
So, what I have to do is realize that anytime strong feelings begin to develop within a short period of time, the guy is probably not a good choice. He's probably a loser. Therefore I must ruthlessly guard my heart and avoid him. Instead of allowing myself to fall head over heels for yet another horror, I need to begin deciding what kind of guy I SHOULD be with, and look for places where that kind of guy might be. I need to surround myself with men who are good for me, and better matches. Then, over time, as I get to know one, a teeny little spark might be born, and then grow.
Do you think maybe you have the same problem -- but instead of whiny losers, you're attracted (or encouraged by stupid friends) to be attracted to jerks?
At 10:24 AM, November 17, 2006,
Jennifer said…
Last night I ended up talking to an old GCC friend I haven't had contact with for years. He had a good point. Instead of being so nice, I need to outright tell someone "no" if I'm not interested. Guys (of course) will keep on trying if they think you are. I tend to be too worried about hurting someone's feelings, and not concerned enough about my own.
At 9:20 AM, November 21, 2006,
la persona said…
This is kind of late, but I just wanted to say, I´´m so sorry that happened to you :( Hope the next one is a true prince
At 12:06 PM, November 21, 2006,
The Prufroquette said…
The thing I like about the frog prince tale is that it has a version wherein the princess, instead of kissing the frog, hurls him against the wall in a rage (because he's irritating her), and THAT'S what transforms him into a prince.
It's as Bridget Jones, quoting her friend Tom, says: "The only way to succeed with men is to be really horrible to them."
Sadly I think sometimes it's true. But those aren't the guys worth succeeding with.
At 1:59 PM, November 21, 2006,
Jennifer said…
That sounds suspiciously like an old Atari game I used to play as a kid. Frogger.
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