On behalf of sinful men everywhere...

Well hey there. How you doin?

Been a while, I know. I don't find much free time these days, but I decided to throw a little that I do have on this Black Friday back at all these Fabulous Females.

And I want to reiterate that: you ladies, as little as I know most of you, really do seem to be a wonderful bunch of young ladies who seem truly concerned with the most important things that we've been called to focus on in this life we've been given. Single Christian young men everywhere would be more than blessed to happen upon a blog like this, take that from a very experienced single Christian man (not so young anymore, even).

What I am not, however, is a wonderful, always-holy, perfect leader that is 100% flawless husband material. These guys are out there (maybe they're all youth group leaders?), I think in my life I've met one or two of them - guys I really respect who are humble, kind, always deferring, selfless, etc.. Even these guys, I realize, have their own struggles, but there are definitely some men that I certainly respect as excellent husband material, in their own right. But again, I've met one or two of them, in my life. And I think, just perhaps, if you young ladies are honest with yourselves, you'll admit that there might have been just a couple of women in your life that you respect above and beyond all others. They stand out from the crowd in some respects and we are all blessed to know these people that God puts in our lives to encourage us to grow closer to him - those who are running the race harder than us and give us that drive to run harder than we already are.

We should be thankful for these people. And we should never, never, turn and look behind us and criticize those who we perceive to be running at a slower pace than us. Think how you would feel if those that you respected in the faith were to do this to you (thank God, they wouldn't, because of who they are). Then multiply that feeling of despair by the exponential degrees that it would apply to those who we perceive to be struggling more than we do with our imperfect faiths, relationships, and lives.

We live in a relational world - we are created as beings that need human interaction - we know the terrible consequences, for instance, on infants who do not receive it at an early age. We see the saddening consequences of adults who have been unable to find it. The need for human relationship is something, I believe, that intricately winds our genetic code and souls into a single being, as we are in this life. But there is, sadly, another cord wound into this bind - that of the sin that we have inherited. And as such, we must not think of our sin as being in any sense an "individual" matter. True, we all must approach God with our own sin, knowing how it has intimately grieved Him and damaged our own unique relationship with him. But if there's one thing that I have simply loved to learn from my Presbyterian heritage, it is that confession of sin is also a corporate matter. We are *all* sinners, justly deserving of his wrath, and our sin hurts our human relationship (at large) just as it damages our God relationship.

My point is this: we can hold no man (or woman), single or otherwise, no matter where we esteem them to be in their spiritual walk, to any standard that we believe we ourselves have met. At the end of the day our salvation doesn't rest on anything we've done, after all. We can not, in this life, point fingers and put people in lower categories, call them lesser people for the things they have done, or haven't done. If Christ came doing this, He would have had to point his finger at everyone. Instead, He pointed it at the dirt, and when I go to heaven, the first question I will ask is "What were you drawing there when you told them that 'he who had no sin should cast the first stone'?"

We are going to run into people in this life that hurt us, that use us, that let us down, betray our trusts, that make us feel like less of a person. We will, and many of us have, experience(d) the lowest point of our lives due in large part to what other people have done to us. And our natural, sinful, puny human response will be to lash out and get back for the wrong we have suffered. We seek to drag them down and point them out and make ourselves feel better because of what a terrible person they are. We continue to think we will find some validation for ourselves if there are those out there who clearly aren't as good as us.

And here is where I realize I should stop preaching. Alexander Pope once said that "Men should be taught as if you taught them not, and things unknown proposed as things forgot." In that vein, I don't think I've really said anything above that most of you probably find as news, so much as a friendly reminder. And that's all I really wanted to do - remind you all that, despite the fact that some of you have been the victims of careless, less than gentle-men, as of late, who you are does not rest in what these men have done, or even in what your identity is that separates you from such men. Who you are will not, even, rest in the love of a more-perfect gentleman, should you ever be blessed to find him (and I pray each of you will, in God's perfect timing). Who you are, (may I humbly remind you), rests in the perfect love of Christ, which you already have! Keep reminding yourself of that - especially as you struggle through the wilderness of human relationships. Resting on this love is what will help you guard your heart as you navigate these difficult times.

I too have been let down, I have been wounded deeply by the back-stabbing of young women, who, at the end of the day, were just like me - only human, struggling with the imbalance of sin in the human relationship (surprise! there's terrible single women out there too!). And I have found that peace will come to me through no other way than to look to the love of the one who took all of our selfish usury, our hateful blows, our cutting words, and responded in love. I really believe there's no other way to approach human relationship and come out with any kind of success. And I really hope that each of you truly Fabulous Females will find the special someone in this life that will show you a glimpse of the Special Someone who already loves you in the next.

Imagine, to mention the supreme example, imagine Christ at the moment when He was silent before the Counsel: imagine the infuriated mob, imagine the group of dignitaries - and then imagine how many a glance they directed towards him, their eyes upon Him, only waiting for Him to look at them so that their glance might convey their mockery, their contempt, their pity, their insults, to the accused! But He discovered nothing, lovingly He concealed the multitude of their sins. Imagine how many an abusive epithet, how many insults, how many taunts were shouted at Him - and each participant was so terribly insistent that his voice should be heard, so that, above all, it might not seem that he had been so indescribably stupid as to have missed the opportunity, as not to have been there participating in common with everyone else, hence as the true instrument of public opinion, in insulting, in injuring, in mistreating an innocent man! But he discovered nothing; lovingly He hid the multitude of their sins - by discovering nothing. And He is the pattern: from Him the lover has learned, when he discovers nothing and thereby hides the multitude of sins; when like a worthy disciple, "forsaken, hated, bearing the cross," he walks between mockery and pity, between insults and lamentations, and yet discovers nothing - in truth more wonderful than when the three men walked unscathed in the fiery furnace. Still, ridicule and insults really do no harm, if the one insulted does not harm himself by discovering them, that is, by becoming resentful. For if he is resentful, he discovers the multitude of sins. - Soren Kierkegaard