Family or Career? Love or Life?

I'm currently visiting my cousin in Virginia. She lives in the suburbs with her husband and son. She owns a beautiful home, drives a luxury sedan, and seems happy. I remember when she got married at the tender age of twenty-one. I thought that she was making a big mistake, and that she needed to graduate and experience life before making such a huge commitment. Nonetheless, fast forward seven years later she’s happily married and I try to visit her at least once a year.

Since arriving on Saturday afternoon (it's now Monday at 3 am), we have visited Walmart twice and Target once, went grocery shopping, went Christmas shopping, and watched a lot of movies (courtesy of blockbuster). The one reoccurring theme is quality time. They (my cousin and her husband) do everything together. They grocery shop together, picked me up from the airport together, run their errands together, cook together, take care of their son together, etc. They refer to each other exclusively as honey (or mommy and daddy when addressing their son). Her husband opens her doors for her and carries all the heavy things. They even have a little game they unwittingly play, which I've secretly dubbed Prince Charming and the Damsel in Distress. She pretends to be hopelessly helpless and he in return always comes to her rescue. This entails retrieving hard to reach objects and fallen objects amongst other tasks. He’s the Nick to her Jessica. Nonetheless, she seems happy.

I mean there have been hard times. Since they got married so young they've had to mature over the years. They had their share of ruthless arguments, but have honed their communication skills and stayed committed to their family. They've had their share of financial woes, but nothing a little financial ethics didn't solve (i.e. working hard, spending less, and saving more). He travels a lot for work, but when he is home he is completely involved with his family, and even when he’s physically absent he is still emotionally present. Still, their lives do seem a little boring: no chic social gatherings, intellectually charged conversations with their peers, and hot sexy flings; however, they do seem content, something I can’t say I’ve felt in a long time. So I ask myself, did my cousin make a mistake by marrying young and deferring her education and life experiences or did I make a mistake by forgoing marriage and kids for my graduate education and the life experiences of a young, single woman?

I’ve had a good life and done things my cousin wasn't able to do because of her responsibilities. I’ve done the excitingly superficial things, i.e. traveled extensively (domestically and internationally), lived in several major metropolitan cities, mingled with celebrities, went skiing in the Poconos, jetted away to island getaways with friends, etc. I’ve also received an amazing education that has positively impacted many aspects of my life. Overall, I have no complaints. However, on lonely nights with no prince charming in sight I wonder would I have forgone it all for true love at twenty-one.

After all, my cousin life isn’t bad at all. She’s not as highly educated nor does she share my life experiences, but she does own a gorgeous home and car, is financially secure (i.e. she pays for my annual visits to see her), she goes on a weeklong vacations once a year with her husband, only works part-time (if at all), and is unconditionally loved and cared for by her husband. Me on the other hand, I have a lot of college loans and with graduation still a semester away I can’t even start to consider a home or new car loan. And although I’d love to do Cancun for Spring Break, with the bar and related study courses I just don’t have the money to spare. And when I do graduate chances are I'll be working 40 plus hours a week and all the men in my age group without commitment phobias will already be spoken for.

I don’t regret my choices in life, I’m just considering, was it necessarily the better choices?