Yes, I Read Comics Sometimes
So, I sent the above comic to Marianne, who then proceeded to get Jen to invite me to join this blog. So, thanks for having me.
At any rate, when I came across this, I thought, "This might very well foster some new debate on Fab Females, or at least get a couple laughs." Personally, I've been there. I've been that guy, who, because he doesn't know any better, tries to pull the "friend" card in the hopes that somehow, magically, the girl will just fall in love. I believe Marianne called it "dating by osmosis."
As my 21-year dry spell continues, I can say without a doubt that this tactic doesn't work.
Why? Because it's creepy. Thank God, after the second (or was it the third?) try, I got my act together and realized that women are interested not just in some "brother in Christ," but also in a guy who's, well, interesting. Interesting to her, anyway. I know of several men around our bubble of a Christian campus that have the looks and personalities of a two by four, and yet they have the steady girlfriends.
Who knows? Maybe the wooden personality makes them stable and dependable.
Then, I found this one, which is funnier more than relevant, maybe:
Why is it that I always manage to see myself in these things?
Okay, this is long enough for a first post. Here's hoping I come up with something actually thought-provoking next time.
posted by Ben @ 5:05 AM
3 Comments:
At 5:20 PM, April 23, 2006,
none said…
This was thought provoking Ben. It's not just guys who try to work the friend angle. For women too, sometimes we "befriend" a guy just because we're romantically interested, and either the taboo of a women asking out a man, or plain old-fashioned shyness keeps us from making an actual move. I've definitely been guilty of that as well, not to be intentionally dishonest, but out of fear of rejection. It's a terrible thing to ever offer anything less than genuine friendship, but when you just want to be near someone, spend time with them, give them a chance to really see how awesome you are, it's so easy to fall into that pattern. The question that leaves me is: what is the alternative? To just lay your cards on the table up front? To hope they approach you? Can we ever really just be friends (sans hidden feelings, longings, jealousy) with someone we're attracted to?
At 5:23 PM, April 26, 2006,
Ben said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 5:26 PM, April 26, 2006,
Anonymous said…
Whoops. Dang typos.
Anyway:
As the oft-quoted saying from "When Harry Met Sally" goes, "Men and women can never be friends."
For the most part, I find this statement to be correct. It may be a bit of a shocker to some women, but it's true: most guys are only friends with you because they want to date and/or make out with you.
As I've found out lately from several girls when the subject of my current fancy comes up, apprently people have a right to know when someone is attracted to them. And I wholeheartedly agree. The first comic I posted is all to true: to continue to be friends with a girl when one has ulterior motives is dishonest and manipulative to varying degrees, depending on the person.
So where does that leave me, the semester-ahead senior who basically missed the dating boat at my school, and currently has a vested interest in someone who's even busier than he is? Frankly, I don't know. I'm probably going to end up laying all the cards out on the table, out of respect for her, and to basically finally get it off my chest. It'll be downright relieving, I'm sure.
And frankly, I think we're both mature enough to not let a good thing fizzle out just in case things don't pan out the way I hope.
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