because she needed him more

So, a strange blessing fell on me this week.

Tuesday MP and I drove to PA for the memorial service of a professor who died in a car accident last week. (It was sad. I don't want to talk about it.) We wound up sitting next to an old college friend and his wife, whom I haven't seen in two years.

This guy and I go back to our freshman year, when I learned from mutual friends that he really, really liked me. (My friend Andrew says that every girl is the girl for some guy. I was the girl for him, for awhile anyway.) But he wasn't the guy for me. I told him this (still don't know if that was the best thing, but I'm called to mind that quote from Ride with the Devil: "It ain't wrong and it ain't right. It just is"), and afterward our friendship more or less evaporated. And then he started dating the girl who is now his wife.

I tried to like him back. I tried really hard. He's a gem, a "prince among men," as MP says. But he just wasn't for me. And I was sad and resentful that this girl stole away the rest of my friendship with him. So we quite openly didn't get along for a year, until one day she pulled me aside and said, "I don't think we're friends. And I want to be friends." After that our interactions were much more amicable, but I still felt weird about her relationship with my old friend.

Of course, once they got married, I set all questions aside. At that point, it's forever. But I wondered how they were doing.

And they're doing really well. Sitting next to her at the memorial service, I remembered knowing her as a freshman and sophomore, and listening to her talk about all her then-current and ex-boyfriends, who treated her horribly. And I remembered all I knew about my friend -- his goodness, kindness, thoughtfulness, and devotion. And I thought how he would never, ever treat her the way her old boyfriends did.

And I was fiercely glad they got married. Have I still sometimes felt like I threw away something great? Yes. But I had to; he wasn't in my future (yes, I believe in fate). But he was in hers. And it's good for both of them. I think she sharpens him toward what he can be. And he utterly loves her.

So it was a lovely blessing to have all those old questions answered, and to see how God has worked things for the best. And to know that through this man, God has met the right woman's needs.

Still waiting for Him to fulfill mine (though probably He is and I'm just not paying attention, because I'm looking for the sunrise when I'm supposed to appreciate the night constellations), but it's bolstering to witness His works in others' lives. It gives me greater hope.