Sup? This too is not something I wrote - but it is something I've been meaning to post, for whatever value anyone might get out of it. The first part is from an unsigned note that I found a while back in one of my college days folders (random crap from college I kept around). I wish I knew who it was from so I could thank them for their truthfulness.
1. You can have a physical relationship with someone w/o actually "dating" that person.
2. You can have an emotional relationship with someone w/o actually "dating" that person.
3. You don't need to be "dating" someone to realize the potential for problems to develop if either person were to become interested in someone else.
Conclusion: A relationship is not defined the moment we place a label on that relationship. Rather, it is defined by our actions, thoughts, motives, and attitudes. God knows our hearts. He said, "If you love me, you will obey my commandments."
~
Truthfulness is one more invisible fiber that holds people together in humane community. When we cannot assume that people communicating with us are truthful, we cannot live with them in trust that they will respect our right to freedom to respond to reality. If we cannot trust each other to respect this basic right, we have lost our chance to be human together in God's manner. Therefore, when God sounds the trumpet for truthfulness, he summons us to live humanly; he provides a survival guideline for community. This makes his command an intrinsically reasonable one.... Generalized formulas for 'just' lies seldom work. In another time, perhaps, people could be more flexible and less stringent. In our age when deceit threatens every area of our society, the last word must be: Speak the truth, be the truth, for your truth sets others free. -- Lewis Smedes, Mere Morality
posted by David @ 7:43 PM
2 Comments:
At 7:36 AM, January 25, 2006,
The Prufroquette said…
And yet we're so terrified (of rejection? of unreciprocated desires? of vulnerability? of looking foolish?) that we often, if not lie, then at least conceal the truth insofar as it will keep our real feelings disguised from the objects of our affection/daydreaming.
And whose should the burden of honesty be? I've been emotionally accustomed to the idea of marriage, in a very personal way, since I was at least twelve, if not earlier. Men, it seems, take a little longer to grow into the idea, at least as it applies to themselves individually. So women, I think, tend to feel that if they are actually honest (I've tried on your last name, I really like being with you, I want to date you, this doesn't mean I want to marry you tomorrow but I'm of course considering the future possibility) the man will flee in I'm-not-ready-for-this haste.
So should the guy be the one to say, Hey, I like you, let's be together? Should the girl? I'm of the opinion that the girl ought to hold her tongue and let the guy make it clear, particularly because every time I've breached the wall of not-saying-anything I've definitely lose a date and usually lost a male friend.
And why is honesty so complicated? What are we so afraid of losing? The status quo that makes us feel so lonely?
Grr.
At 10:58 PM, January 27, 2006,
Jennifer said…
I'm with Sarah on that one. Sure, you can be in a relationship without really defining it... But personally, I would at least want to know the guy is committed to being with ME, on some level - any level. If a guy just "couldn't be tied down" or is "afraid of committment".. he's just not the guy for me.
Post a Comment
<< Home