presentando...

While y'all are still debating the fate of this blog, and I have taken the liberty to inflict my not-so-humble opinions on many your entries, I'll take this time to introduce myself and join the verbal fray. To protect the innocent :), I have changed my display name to "la persona" ... "persona" representing my public self and "la" being a word that I attach to almost everything. In any case, many of you know who do know who I am and for those of you who don't, run! No, just kidding. Here's what you need to know: I am 22/F/proud resident of the great state of Ohio and future resident of Latin America come this fall (I'm something like 1/8 Hispanic -- barely a drop! -- but I'm milking it for all it's worth, so please pardon the occasional gringa Spanish). And single, of course. More importantly, it seems that I represent a mostly silent minority of the ff readership: those of us who grew up in less-than-functional homes and who must wrestle every day with the so-called "sleeper effect" of the lingering consequences of poor prior relationships on our current ones. That is to say, my thoughts are for the beat-up, messed-up, mixed-up, undone, and yet born-again believers who still cling to the hope that with God, all things are possible. I'm sure I'm not the only one who wonders whether maybe real change must come from within. Personally, for as much as I romanticize the perfect relationship, I'm beginning to realize that maybe I'm the one at fault when it doesn't work out. Without much prayer and reflection, generational sins have a stubborn way of repeating themselves in our lives. But I truly believe that when we understand these patterns in Christ, we no longer must be bound by them. This is what I hope to write more about.

So while as I make my debut post today, I may still be messed up, but I have a lingering suspicion that I am not alone. For in a way, aren't we all messed up to some degree? Is anyone with me or am I totally off base? I'll guess I'll just have to wait and see...

More to come... ¡hasta luego, chicas!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes?

This post is a long time coming, but probably a necessary change. When the Fabulous Females blog was created, it was presumed that the members and readers would be just that... predominantly female. However, nearly 25% of FF's membership is comprised of fine young gentlemen. (Hello Adam, Ben, CT, David!) A sizeable number of other guys have also been refreshing and honest in responding to our commentaries, diatribes, observations, and occasional bitching.
Soo.... perhaps its time to get with the times - meaning a template change from pink to something more, uh, gender neutral? Not to mention a Name/Title that's more encompassing to all involved.
First of all, I wanted to seek input on this change. Is everyone open to it, and do you think it is needed? Second of all, does anyone have suggestions for a newer, more appropriate Name for this forum... We're looking for everyone's voice, so please, PLEASE respond with your own! =)

Yes, I Read Comics Sometimes

So, I sent the above comic to Marianne, who then proceeded to get Jen to invite me to join this blog. So, thanks for having me.

At any rate, when I came across this, I thought, "This might very well foster some new debate on Fab Females, or at least get a couple laughs." Personally, I've been there. I've been that guy, who, because he doesn't know any better, tries to pull the "friend" card in the hopes that somehow, magically, the girl will just fall in love. I believe Marianne called it "dating by osmosis."

As my 21-year dry spell continues, I can say without a doubt that this tactic doesn't work.

Why? Because it's creepy. Thank God, after the second (or was it the third?) try, I got my act together and realized that women are interested not just in some "brother in Christ," but also in a guy who's, well, interesting. Interesting to her, anyway. I know of several men around our bubble of a Christian campus that have the looks and personalities of a two by four, and yet they have the steady girlfriends.

Who knows? Maybe the wooden personality makes them stable and dependable.

Then, I found this one, which is funnier more than relevant, maybe:



Why is it that I always manage to see myself in these things?

Okay, this is long enough for a first post. Here's hoping I come up with something actually thought-provoking next time.

Subtly changing the subject...

Filler. It really is, isn't it? You're doing all these things. Maybe even all the right things. But it still feels like you're just living life on hold, sometimes. Your call will be answered in approximately...(insert unknown number here)...years. For me, at least, the important thing is that it doesn't feel like this all the time. But there are unique moments when it is felt acutely. Just one random night waiting in line for the bus and wondering if it will be raining when you get home. Or driving past the park and seeing the kids at little league. Or late at night.

I feel the same way sbp recently put it (to paraphrase): life is grand. Great job, awesome friends, love where I'm living, my church, working with the youth at my church. I have friends and community like no one could even dream to ask for - leaving NYC will be one of the toughest experiences of my life, some day.

I'm a Netflix addict, I eat out or order out like 99% of the time (which sometimes sucks, but for the most part is great). I'm not much of a phone person but I have the coolest cell phone out there (a gig of music! go me)...I've got way too many clothes, wear make-up every day. Wait a minute. Strike that last one. I read when I can and surf a lot of internet when I can as well. I've got like 8 email accounts at this point that I check regularly. For crying out loud. I'm not sure how many computers I have but I think its technically 3. I'm becoming more and more aware as the days pass of just how incredibly blessed I really am. Thankfully, I'm becoming more and more able to start blessing others.

I don't have a dog. I do covet that (having one) at times. I was once driving by a house with a small lake with one of the elders from my church - he looked at the lake and said "I don't covet that lake, but I want one just like it for myself." That's how I feel about certain dogs - but that's about as far as my complaints go. I don't pay my bills on time or write nearly as much as I should. I'm pretty good about my devotions / memorization / prayer times (getting better on the prayer part). I work a lot, try to work out in the mornings, and jump at the opportunity to waste a few hours on video games on a Saturday morning.

I'm learning a lot about myself, other people, faith, life...I feel there's so much to learn and I feel like I'm taking in as much as possible. Its like standing in the middle of a raging river - you can't drink the whole thing but you can open your mouth and get a taste.

So...yeah. I've got a lot of great stuff going on as well. I'm becoming a full-fledged adult that can very nearly take care of himself on a regular basis. Not to pat myself on the back too hard, but I look at other people my age (usually the ones at work, not church) - and I think "I really have it together." But the problem with that statement is the very first word - its not "We." And that's all you really want at the end of the day.

Funny how all the other stuff starts to fade when you put it in this light. Who cares if you have Netflix, or work out a ton, or have the greatest job in the world. Not having anyone to share it with makes a lot of these things feel hollow - every once in a while. Dare I say it - even your relationship with God, at points. I think its because we were created to be relational - its in our innermost being. You see a beautiful sight, taste a beautiful glass of wine, hear a beautiful piece of music - and you have singular human experience that *isn't* selfish - you actually want to share what you've just felt. You know that sharing it and seeing someone else enjoy it as you did will only increase your pleasure.

What I want...I don't know what I want. I'm going on 28 and I still don't know what I want to do for a living, where I want to live, all that jazz...all I know is that I want to be doing whatever it is, with somebody. Whether I'm coming home from my ski patroller job in Wyoming or my partner role at a firm in the big city, I don't care. Its the fact that I have someone to come home to that matters. Right now it doesn't matter when I leave the office. Nobody's sitting in my hotel room waiting to see how my day went. I can work all night and no one would know or care. It sucks.

A family...kids...all that follows down the road, as well. Its a little much to ponder on - when you don't already have the necessary pre-cursors lined up...but. Keeping a little me quiet during church, or teaching him how to kick the soccer ball, or wiping spit-up off her PJs...

I actually want a family. Of my own. Of our own.

Its important to be working on being the right person rather than finding the right person, while we're waiting. And that's certainly something easier typed than accomplished.

All of this, what I'm doing right now, is great. But all the accomplishments (not the relationships), while exciting and great and worth being proud of, and (some of) which I will certainly continue throughout my life, with or without marriage and family, are just filler. I'm not desperate, I'm not in despair. I won't give up my identity when I finally have what I'm waiting for. But I am biding my time. I know what I want, and I don't have it yet. So I'm doing the best I can, looking to God for continuous direction...and waiting.

(Now that I've actually finished putting this together, I realize that a lot of the motivation behind it is an appeal for equality. I am aware that this is a female forum, but let's just take all the "I can't meet a nice Christian girl in a bar"s and "I am so mad at cool Christian guys"s and all that and throw it in the hat. Both sides of the sexes have our challenges. Ok?)

Hi Lay Deeees

Been a while. I've been hoping to contribute more often than I actually have contributed, so my apologies. I see it - the FF link right above my own blog's link - every time I log-on to update my own blog. Speaking of which, hasn't been often, lately. Anyway, I feel guilty every time I see the Fab Females, sitting there, glaring at me.

Anyway - wrote a post yesterday that seems to be getting a lot of interest, and that prompted me to think that it might make good fodder for FF. So here's a preview...

We met up, walked around for a while, and discussed the problems that Christian singles have with actually meeting other singles. Let's put it this way: when there's a whole sector of a whole industry actually directed at helping Christian singles meet each other, we have a problem.

Defining it is surprisingly simple.

Christian guys, in general, enjoy going out. Having a beer, playing some pool, maybe even meeting some girls. Problem is, most of the girls the Christian guy meets, while out, aren't Christian. Most aren't even interested in the topic...

Read the whole thing, if you please.

I will try to get on top of writing something specifically for FF in the near future, you have my word. Personally I thought Biding Time was an excellent, heart-felt post, and I have some similar thoughts I'd like to air, from a guy's perspective...

Noses

I have recently discovered a thing for noses.

I used to think noses were the oddest part of the human face. The eyes, the cheeks, the chin, the mouth, the forehead -- those all made sense, and could be beautiful. The nose was just funny. Why is there this vaguely pyramidal hunk of cartilage with two holes in it sitting on the front of my face? Granted, the face would look funnier without a nose (cf. Voldemort), but still...wasn't there a better functional ornamentation?

But now...oh, the attraction of a good nose. Particularly when it's just a little big. MP and I held a riotous and ridiculous conversation about the merit of the Founding Fathers' noses, as seen on the backs of bills and coins. (We like Thomas Jefferson best.) There's a guy I know who looks like a sculpted god in general, but his nose sets him bridge and nostrils above the regular crowd. His nose is almost a perfect isosceles triangle, straight, strong, and slightly large. It says, "I know what I want and I'm going after it and I'm going to get it." It's a manly nose.

I'm also drawn to crooked noses. Owen Wilson has a great nose, which has survived several breaks during rodeo rides or barrel racing or whatever you do in Texas. Another guy I know has a crooked, previously broken nose. It says, "I'm not afraid to get involved in action, even if it might break my face."

And the grown-up Edmund in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe has an incredible nose.

Now, I don't have "must have a big, straight/broken nose" on my mental list of qualities I want in a guy. I'll like his nose no matter what (unless it's a clown nose). But let me tell you, if he has a great nose, I'll notice.

What kinds of features grab your attention?

MySpace

I’d like to take a moment to air out some feelings about one of the biggest internet phenomenons since, well, AOL Instant Messenger. No, it’s not Facebook... or eHarmony... or even eBay. I’m talking about MySpace. How did I come to realize what a huge thing it is? 1) When I read that founders Tom DeWolfe and Chris Anderson sold MySpace for $580 million.2) There’s a Wiki eHow called something like "How to battle a MySpace addiction.
Yeah, you can say that’s pretty monumental
Currently I have 137 friends comprised from these backgrounds... college, high school, friends of friends, bands, youth group, work, church, a few people I’ve never met, movies, and insert anything else here.
The upside is that you can pretty much find anyone on there. It’s pretty cool to get back in touch with people you never thought you’d reconnect with. See what their life is like now, and get that fix for nostalgia. I’ve even discovered a few old crushes, only to hit the reality that they’re now either engaged or married. (It beats wondering if they’re still ‘out there’ somewhere!)
Here’s what I don’t understand. At least once a day I get a random, at times sexually explicit message from a guy who lives in El Paso. The content ranges from "wat up?" to "Damn, you’re FINE." Charming, I know. Out of curiosity, I’ll check out their profile... only to be terrified. Why? I’ve come to question why guys will include the following on their MySpace page, which is supposed to be enticing...

1) Excessive profanity (ESPECIALLY if it's in his username or headline)
2) Instead of the "Online Now" thing... there's something like "Pimpin' it"
3) His background is a Playboy picture/Beyonce Knowles wearing gold lame/Pinup girl
4) Favorite activities are: partying it up! Getting with the ladies! Meeting hot women!
5) The about me section is unintelligible
6) The about me section makes him sound either really, really negative or psychotic
7) He's listed himself as "Married" but open for "Dating"
8) He's worse at spelling than Dan Quayle
9) His pictures are all of him doing keg stands
10) All his "friends" are really, really trashy looking high school girls
11) His Hero is listed as 'Ol Dirty Bastard
12) Under Books.. says "I don't read much"
13) Any reference to women as "bitches"
14) Any picture of a guy wearing a doo-rag
15) Really creepy blogs

Anyhow, I'd like to open up the floor to discussion... Funny/weird stories about MySpace, who you got in touch with.. creepy people that tried to "Add As a Friend"...

Is this the new way of meeting people that live in the same area as you?
Nothing more than a free online dating site?
How come not that many married folks do MySpace?
Would you meet someone you met on the site?
Have you tried to find an old friend/flame?

Jen's All-Night Adventure

This morning, I rolled back home around 4 a.m. after a farewell party for one of our show’s (former) anchors. We spent a few hours at this dive near work, Erin’s. It seemed like everybody from the local TV scene put in an appearance. I’m continuing in my quest to learn how to salsa dance with our receptionist, Cindy. A bunch of us hit the dance floor for some of the goofier songs like "Mickey" (Oh Mickey you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind - Hey Mickey!). and "Come On Eileen."

You know, I really feel at peace about the guy situation. In the past, I might have scanned the room for attractive young men in my age range. Last night, I just had a wonderful time and didn’t even look.

What I didn’t know was that throughout the evening, I managed to garner a few admirers totally obliviously. I first caught onto this when a guy I’d talked to for maybe two minutes began to trail me around the place. After closing, about 20 people went over to IHOP. This was good, because I was absolutely starving. Cleaned up an entire plate of pancakes, eggs, sausage, and bacon. Then I noticed that everyone got a bill except for the girl sitting across from me... and me. It turned out that this other guy, who wasn’t even sitting at our table... had paid for us.
I was thrown by that. It’s not the kind of thing that happens very often. Now, I must admit that I don’t think I’d go for the guy. I doubt he’s a Christian, and our lifestyles are probably vastly different. But you know what? I was totally flattered! Every once in awhile, it’s nice to know that somebody thinks of you like that.

Like Sarah, I am living an amazing life - loving and serving Jesus. Hanging with my church’s youth group ( I never knew how much I love high school age kids!) And being a good and loyal friend and employee. I’d like to think that He has plans for a future family for me... but I don’t know that. It’s not guaranteed.

At church last weekend, I heard a great sermon given by a very passionate FEMALE pastor. She’s phenomenal. Talked about losing all the control on our life... handing them over to God. This is one of the stories she used to illustrate:
A little girl sitting in the first-class section of an airplane, coloring. A bunch of businessmen in suits make their way on-board and get settled. During take off, the captain says the plane is about to hit some serious turbulence, and commands everyone to tighten their seatbelts and brace themselves. The cabin begins to rock back and forth. The businessmen are visibly frightened, hanging on for dear life... Some of them begin to pray... others breaking out their rosaries. Luckily, the plane lands without incident. Everyone is relieved and surprised. Throughout the ENTIRE flight, the girl did not show any signs of panic. She colored and played with her crayons, not even looking up. One of the businessmen is curious and asks her, "Why were you so calm through that scary experience?" The little girl looked up at him and said, "My daddy’s the pilot, and I KNOW he’s taking me home."

That anecdote actually opened my eyes to my relationship with Jesus. I don’t need to panic or lose hope, because I know he’s in control. He’s taking us home. So I’m not worried.